I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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