She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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