im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
