And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
