i would punch a child for taco bell
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
