I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i think my mom watched the whole time
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
