Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I touched a dick in church today
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
that is very illegal...i love you.
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