She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
