I want to stick my p in your. b.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
