He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
3pm strippers are depressing
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
