btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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