me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
