I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Randomize
