I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
