So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Houston, we have a squirter
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
