Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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