Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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