Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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