that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
