thus making me awesome and them whores
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
