Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm too high and old for this...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
