after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
