Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize