Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize