you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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