..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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