ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
