Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
