Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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