i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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