don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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