thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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