Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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