I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
