The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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