can u get pink eye on your cock?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
