Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
