ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
