Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think a kid would responsible me up
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I need to align my fucking chakras
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
