Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
