I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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