Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
