so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
