Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
