I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
