I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
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Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
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Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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