i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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