I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
