the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
