After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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