I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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