The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
