you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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