she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize