That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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