So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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