I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
